Wow! I GASPED. “SOPHIE, SOPHIE! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO????”
Well, I should really start from the beginning. If you like terrifying stories, you are in for a win. One night I was staying with my cousins out on a farm, with loads of paddocks until the dead mountain. Sophie and I thought we might go on the trampoline, so I shouted “Sophie let's go!” Five minutes later... We heard a deep slow grumble. I bounced over to Sophie and asked. “Did you hear that Sophie?”
“I think it was the dog,” replied Sophie.
“OK!” I replied. 20 seconds later... The slow grumble was back. “Sophie I'm not that sure that was the dog.” Sophie and I suddenly ran over to each other, we started to hug we were so scared. Our hearts were beating as fast as lightning, next we heard big loud noises, and more slow grumbling. “What will we do Sophie?”
“I think that we should run to the door, or stay on the trampoline.” replied Sophie.
“Well, what should we do then, you're the oldest?” BOO “Ahhhhhh!!!” Screamed Sophie, and “OMG MUM!!!” Screamed Aaliyah. “You better be kidding right now, Mum you scared us out of our life's.” I said. “Well, anyway it's tea time girls.”
My self reflection
The punctuation was good in my story because I had no mistakes.
My story wasn't a cheeky story but it was meant to be. I did a spooky instead which I think was better anyway. I was writing about a time when I was on my cousin’s farm. Sophie and I were walking down the farm. She showed me what the dead mountain was. The dead mountain is a place where the dead sheep bones go and the dead sheep. My cousin also said that it is a place to shoot my uncle's gun. But you have to have a parent with you.